i’m a turtle
“I’m a stand-up comic.”
“Ooh! Heckle me!”
“I don’t know anything about you and don’t wanna say anything mean about you. Just enjoy the moment without getting a performer to do free work for you.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Don’t have to be on all the time, let me eat my burger.”
Uh, I should prolly add context:
yeah but so’s lunchables. pyrrhic victory
neatly partitioned meats and cheeses appeal to me on an aesthetic level ok mfer
ham cheese. ham cracker. cheese cracker. ham and cheese cracker. ham and cheese
could even do it like a little big mac so it’s like cracker ham cheese cracker ham cheese cracker
shit there’s nobody says you can’t go like ham ham ham ham ham ham ham ham. great big ol hampuck just for me.
I’ve been passing through the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy again. It’s my favorite, and it means quite a lot to me.
I started out as a quizmaster, telling quiz for a night a week. I’d open my show with a new 45-second bit each week, built audience numbers over time.
Then I realized I’d been doing this for years, and was an incredibly prolific comic! I had enough material I could just walk out onto a stage and just lengthen out my opening bits, cause I no longer had a quiz to tell that night!