The adventures of Richard and Mortimer.

“I don’t have a sea slug in this drive by.” Conjures images of underwater sea violence and muddies your message.

The trick is to get future self to do it! Always works out…sometimes.

(Hitler giggling to himself) Big big Chungus, big Chungus, big Chungus!

Dude. One time I accidentally tried to sell them a shellcraft crown and they got so pissed that they sent in the bear cavalry.

Maybe I’m alone in this but I’d love to play different races from the game to make fortresses. Imagine a rat-man empire hell bent on stealing everyone’s cheese.

Be a MAN. Hold onto a DUCK. Fly to DENVER.

Did people just slowly turn to the other people to make eye contact while blastin a dook?

I look back on these days of my youth, and smile for I can now detect scrambled nipples in the waves of multicolored distortion.

“Awwww what a cute little puppy-“

Tell me Clarice do the lambs still scream?

“You know what, let’s look at the cats.”

This is a gross oversimplification of two distinct and well studied fields. Good luck getting an Oxford fellow to comment on big ol anime tiddies or getting a Harvard professor to know the kind of porn Lincoln beat his meat to.

Whyyyyyyyy did they discontinue these!?

These might be the deluxe ones, like Monster energy wafers. You know the commercials, “You only need 3.7 seconds for a whole mass baby!”

That’s a seriously fun game.

Awww look at Mittens batting at the launch sequence buttons! He’s so- (large explosion)

The terrorists are gonna either think here’s another British agent, or it’s McLovin the 25 year old organ donor.

Remember, Mittens used to run the Holy Roman Empire, so a little bow and groveling go a long way…also he puked on the rug.