This was almost the complete comment, answered all the questions it raised as I read along except one thing.

How wide can you spread your toes? I just checked and my fingers (without thumb) is ~18cm.

Don’t be a cunt

But it would translate into higher premiums going forwards. Doesn’t seem like sustainable business practice.

For being a nonce no less!

I might be addicted to this stuff. For a brand readily available in supermarkets it is really good, delicious and hot.

It isn’t anything like tobasco though imo.