I’m in my early 30’s and I’ve literally always been curious about this. I’ve never in my life had the ability to feel sexual pleasure. I’ve never been on any meds or had any sort of traumatic experiences…it’s just the way I’ve always been even if I try. I’m old enough to say that I’m way beyond simply being a “late bloomer”. It’s just something I’ll never experience.
But it often feels like I’m missing a minor sense like taste or smell or something. Everyone has always raved about the taste of dessert, but I’ve never been able to understand or experience it. Can you describe it in detail it for me? Not just the mental part, but the physical part as well?
Thank you.
Sincerely, An Outsider
You are going to get a whole lot of different answers. Simply because there is no one answer.
There is also no separation between the physical and the mental. They’re one and the same. If you don’t feel physical pleasure during sex, you’re not going to feel emotional pleasure, and vice versa. There is nothing wrong with not feeling sexual pleasure. Sexual interest is not a binary all or nothing. It’s a scale from Asexual (not interested at all) to sex-addict, with most people falling somewhere in between. So any answer you get is going to be from different points on the scale, not necessarily close to where you are on it (very close if not completely asexual)
I fall somewhere close to asexual, but not all the way. I’m much more interested in the lead-up to it, first second and third base, so-to-speak, and rounding for home is just kind of a let-down after all of it. A part of that (not to get too into the weeds) is that I love performing cunnilingus, but hate receiving blowjobs, because I can’t fathom that a woman actually enjoys giving head, and therefore I can’t take any pleasure from it. But 80% of my sexual pleasure comes from knowing that I’m giving HER pleasure. There is no greater rush of endorphins than using fingers and tongue and then seeing your partner not able to walk afterwards because their legs are shaking too much.
THAT is far more of a sense to me; the mental. The actual act of intercourse is no different than masturbation; it’s what you do to empty your balls once the fun part has been completed.
Im not asexual at all but I’m very much the same when it comes to giving pleasure. I can go to pound town for hours but I won’t ever cum unless I can really feel and understand that the other participant is doing the same (yes some people fake that but it is very easy to tell a fake and real orgasm apart)