I have a tray of cookies for the post with the most pedantic, convoluted, chopped-to-shit neo-bro-loshophies or metaphors, that provides the most comedic effect. (Edit) Bonus points if it contains the trolley problem or some variation therein

When they tossed the corpse of Osama Bin Laden into the sea, it wasn’t just because no country’s soil would take him, but to respect his religion, where in Islam cremation is considered a desecration. So they showed him the respect of a burial at sea, even though he was our enemy.

“Patrick, are you ok!?” “FINLAND!!!”