• Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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    5 days ago

    It is an act of god. Jesus is punishing the world for its sins. What sins, you ask, gay marriage and women voting? Hell no! The sin is emitting carbon dioxide. Jesus hates it when you do that. That’s why he made those molecules trap sunlight in the Earth’s atmosphere and that’s why he made the weather systems intensify when there’s more energy in them, resulting in bigger hurricanes. He’s really lazy, so he set it all up automatically to wipe out the human species if they emit too much carbon. It’s like the great flood. He told you never again. Next time you go emitting carbon, it’s gonna be heat, not water.