“You are bad at hunting. Here. I will help. You don’t even have to go outside!”

I’d wake up, groggy, on the floor, and I’d look up and see my friend’s cat standing there next to me at the crack of dawn. I’d say “Hey, Bernie. What’re you doin’ in here?” and he’d drop a mouse in front of my fucking face and then look at me like I was a moron for not immediately waking up and chasing after it.